I've been struggling a bit lately with the concept of faith.  I don't understand completely how it's supposed to work.  Jesus said, that if we have faith as a grain of mustard seed, we could move mountains.  However, in my life, I've had faith that God would do certain things, and he hasn't done them.

The first time that happened to me, I really questioned my belief in God.  I mean, what kind of God would not follow through on something I really trusted he would do?  I wondered what the point was of me praying and trusting if it was going to be for nothing.

I know faith grows differently from person to person.  I feel that God is trying to teach me something important about faith.  I think he is trying to show me that trusting him about a particular issue means trusting in him no matter what the outcome is.  God is not a magic switch in the sky, but he is a living being who makes decisions based on his omniscience and not my desires.

Basically, God makes his own decisions, and faith is believing that his decisions are the best for me.

Where does prayer come in?  Why do I pray when God does what he chooses anyway?  This question bothers me.  I know prayer is necessary, but it confuses me when I pray and pray for something and it doesn't happen.

Maybe you can share your insights.

"Christmas, Christmas time is here/Time for toys and time for cheer..."

One of the best perks of teaching is that teachers get two weeks off for Christmas.  It's been good for me to recharge and re-evaluate where I'm at and where I want to be.  Mostly it's been good just to be still and let things happen to me instead of having to plan and guide lessons all day.

I've been trying to relax (which is hard for me, being Type A in addition to being a caffeine addict).  Life is not a race, and I don't have to be the fastest.  I don't have to be the prettiest, the smartest, or the coolest, either, and it's OK if not everyone likes me.  There, I said it.

With that prologue, it is now time for my New Year's Resolutions.

1. To actually stick to an exercise routine.  I'm going to try to plug in the exercise video I got for Christmas somewhere in my day.
2. To take myself a little less seriously.
3. To listen to what other people say.
4. To laugh more.

Here are some things I should be doing, but I'm not going to make myself do.

1. Stop drinking coffee.
2. Cut down on sugar.
3. Keep my room clean.
4. Send Christmas cards.  (Do these exist to make me feel guilty?)
5. Stop speeding.

I'm not going to do them because a girl's got to have her vices.  Some things I know I should(n't) do, but they seem like such minor parts of the big picture, that I let them slide.  Everyone is like this, right? 

What are your New Year's Resolutions?  On the other hand, what are some of your vices that you likely won't stop next year?